It’s a lot of load.
When I try to unpack,
It’s overwhelming
So I let my thoughts slack.
I have to be true to myself.
I don’t know as much as I do know.
When you’re moving in circles
There’s really no end.
I speak in parables
And write with riddles
To soften my emotional debacle
I’ve made excuses for a living
For myself & the people I loved.
I chose to be blind
When the signs were glaring.
In my quest for understanding,
I ignored all the warning signs
Just as now I’m here writing rhymes
My priorities were slowly misaligning.
How did I go from feeling nothing
To letting my emotions get the best of me?
A surge of feelings I choose to not process
A lot of – but I told you so and mild regrets.
It’s a lot of questions I can’t answer.
Disappointments I cannot explain.
Choices I cannot defend.
Feelings I couldn’t comprehend.
Still not figured it out, but I’m learning.
I’m learning what I thought I already did.
It’s okay to not understand.
It’s okay to be misaligned.
Face your fears
Don’t hold back the tears
It’s okay to be disappointed
It’s okay to be real.
This baggage weighs a lot.
When certainty was what I sought
Clarity was presented to me
Until I could open my eyes and see.
In my confusion
And wild decisions
I find rest knowing He understands
He’s able to turn my folly for His glory.
My Desires 
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