I’m very thankful for growth
I started out testing the waters with my feet
I remember when I couldn’t pray for 5 mins
Without waking up in the next 2 hours.
I remember second guessing my salvation
With the fear of What people will think?
The hesitation I felt to post my Spotify wrapped
When you had delivered me from toxic music.
I remember the shock and people’s laughter
And how that pierced my fragile heart.
In faith I stepped into the waters ankle deep
Look who started joining prayer platforms
Singing and worshipping in the spirit
I found myself staying in your presence.
I still remember pausing mid prayer
Asking myself “How did I get here?”
At what point did my desires change?
How am I praying for 30 minutes already?
I enjoyed being in your presence
But I easily got distracted
One slight movement, and I start to summarize.
I want to be able to post about my experiences
Without feeling like I’m doing too much.
From my ankles to my knees
You enlarged my capacity
By another measure
You showed me how sweet your word is.
I remember studying your word
The first time I could hear your spirit clearly
Ohh what joy that filled my heart,
I told everyone that cared to listen about you.
Then I started writing about your Love
The beginning of a beautiful journey.
I became a lover of your presence
Bringing as many as I could to fellowship with you.
Your peace filled my soul, as I drank from the river that truly satisfies.
I was pretty comfortable in this place
Till you began to touch sensitive areas
I thought we were in a good space
Why are You telling me to come up hither?
I have come too far to turn back now
How did I get here?
I can’t intelligently explain
I have drank of your living water
I know the truth, and I’ve lived in freedom.
In fear I tried to negotiate with You
And I found myself doubting this call
Surely it’s not that Deep.
Slowly I slipped away from your presence
Till it became difficult to stay with You
And I’ll visit rather religiously to fulfill all righteousness.
All the while my soul thirsts for You.
My gaze shifted from the one Who is
To what my reality was
I lost my peace
But I communicated my heart through my pieces.
I could tell the fire wasn’t there anymore
I became bound again to the things you freed me from.
Living in circles, going round cycles.
I tried by myself to get back to your presence
I reminisced Your Glory, and I’ll cry knowing nothing is the same.
I was lost and not found
Searching with my senses for what wasn’t lost.
In my folly, you saw my desires
I got told I was doing too much
But how do I explain, what I didn’t understand?
In Your loving mercy
You took me from my knees till my waist was deep in You.
Ohh how sweet you are.
I would swim offshore
Multiple times
But Your love always drags me back.
I was scared of your deep waters
What if I drown?
I wasn’t ready to let go of my personality
I wasn’t sure I trusted you on that level.
You took me as your Project
You were patient with my vanities
And you sculpted self out of me
Shaping me to your very image
You worked on my appetite
You instructed me and set me up
Until I began to yearn for Deeper.
From my waist to my shoulders
I found myself deep in your Spirits
From fellowship to partnership
You call me to walk in your blessings.
My mind loves to doubt
But my Spirit knows better.
Now I want to drown in You
I let go of myself
I abandon my dreams in your presence
Now I know there’s no me without You
I have tired my way
I have tried to negotiate
I have gone back and forth
But now I daily surrender
Let my life be your worship
Let your Spirit overshadow me.
Until I become more like you!
Show me your ways Father
I’m ready to walk & work with you
Help me Lord
For I’m willing to live for You
Until I become Deep in You.
My Desires 
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